Beethoven’s Pathetique

***For all the virtuosos’ and hearts that been left over***

Our love- how revolutionary

Like the eighteenth century

Dramatic and full of frivolous neoclassic.

Cadences of a short-lived creation

We both, feel into the supernova of the music sheet

Amongst the rests, the notes and the crescendos

 We began with grave- our singular dark beginnings

Creating our own melody. Allegro and full of sparks!

Flowing into becoming the epitome of cantabiles’- warm,

Melodious and sweet like the romantics

We reached rondo- devilish and still quick like our beginnings

Except, now you found a new and a more harmonious phrase.

Afflito! 

‘Tis not the end of the sheet yet.

Some more notes have yet to be played.

But our entire music was always grave. With occurrences

Of melodies in the manuscripts we tried to fill- all so bereft.

And now reaching the inevitable doom- with your fortissimo

Leaving me bare- my heart in fermata.

You unkind soul! You knew I loved Beethoven, especially

His pathetique and you left it in me, only

With your bittersweet memories.

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Tuesday Thoughts: Nothingness and Meaning

***

So lately I’ve been contemplating life and drowning myself in an overwhelming amount of quarter-life dread. I realized that life is made up of meaningless moments that becomes a continuous flow of nothingness, but what makes it meaningful is the choices that we, as humans make which prevents us from floating into an empty space. Moreover, much against what we would prefer, we sometimes have to do the things that we don’t love in order to be able to do what we really love one day. 

***

The Man And His Viola

The bountiful sea was nothing, compar’d to his eyes

Crystal blue, with navy hues

If deep was the ocean and the sky is high

My fondness for him as fragile and profound as morning dew.

He bowed and played, the viola- His muse

Shrewd and distant, fire and desire

Arrogance bestowed upon him, none could refuse.

His riveting finesse, blazed my old heart on fire. 

Words he never uttered, only his love, he played

Bless’d was he and me, with him

The most pleasant sound, O crescendo, it swayed

No symphony or melody could leave him be. 

His shoulder, always laden with his gift

Every unacquainted moment with him, I felt adrift.

***

Feelings

Feelings, I have them
Not knowing what to do
Washing up on me and people who are
Lovers in my mind
Like waves on the shore
Can’t feel my feet
Under the sand
I get lost in what I’m scared of the most- the ocean and love
They crash against me and I wash up on an island
Under the shooting stars
Smelling like salt and looking like the ocean
A wrecked ship and my mind
With no treasure
I have nothing to lose, not him and never myself.

Liquid Eyes

Let the tears cascade down
Expensive mascara
Canvas on my face
End the call
Mellow walks to the bathroom
Reflection on the mirror
Staring at that girl
Who is she
Who am I
Hands still trembling
Putting the expensive mascara on
Walk out
Everything felt fine
Watery eyes shine
Everything felt fine
And so it goes on
Every other night
Now and then

Constant

It’s impossible to stay in one place when
Each cell in the heart of mine
Pumps blood for another
And
longs to drive on a different road
Every passing day
When thoughts start cascading
And my heart starts racing
Fresh blood filling up my heart
Hands pouring coffee
Overflowing cup
Steam rising up
Dissolving and mixing
What is not and what is there?
I long for a cage every day
That shall shield
The only vitality, keeping me
Alive
Against my will.

Heaven Is Collapsing

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

As I wait for the pain 

to subside.

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

As I count to three and you

say goodbye. 

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

Because I’m living a lie

and so I wake up every night. 

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

as my art becomes my catharsis

and all my faults aline. 

Life Is Not Easy

Life is not easy when

she cries at night and smiles

in the morning.

Life is not easy when

people fail her and yet

she still has to fight for them. 

Life is not easy when

the thought of her being content 

becomes a wild thought for others. 

Life is not easy when

her own people look down on her

because of all the things she loves. 

Life is not easy when

her will to live is dampened 

just by hurtful words. 

Life is not easy when

people tell her that she’s a burden and yet

they can’t live without her. 

I Try To Forget You, Anyway

I try and line myself on the edge of my bed 

to keep your thoughts at bay, but you

make an appearance in my dreams anyway. 

I try to pack up your thoughts in my jewelry box

but I want to wear my favorite earrings anyway, everyday. 

I try to convince myself that I love winter, but you are my sun

and it rose every morning anyway. I did everything I could

to forget you, but the outline of your lips resembled the petals

of the flowers that I held and kissed everyday. 

***

Some thoughts, you just can’t push them away.