poetry

Feelings

Feelings, I have them
Not knowing what to do
Washing up on me and people who are
Lovers in my mind
Like waves on the shore
Can’t feel my feet
Under the sand
I get lost in what I’m scared of the most- the ocean and love
They crash against me and I wash up on an island
Under the shooting stars
Smelling like salt and looking like the ocean
A wrecked ship and my mind
With no treasure
I have nothing to lose, not him and never myself.

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Liquid Eyes

Let the tears cascade down
Expensive mascara
Canvas on my face
End the call
Mellow walks to the bathroom
Reflection on the mirror
Staring at that girl
Who is she
Who am I
Hands still trembling
Putting the expensive mascara on
Walk out
Everything felt fine
Watery eyes shine
Everything felt fine
And so it goes on
Every other night
Now and then

Constant

It’s impossible to stay in one place when
Each cell in the heart of mine
Pumps blood for another
And
longs to drive on a different road
Every passing day
When thoughts start cascading
And my heart starts racing
Fresh blood filling up my heart
Hands pouring coffee
Overflowing cup
Steam rising up
Dissolving and mixing
What is not and what is there?
I long for a cage every day
That shall shield
The only vitality, keeping me
Alive
Against my will.

Heaven Is Collapsing

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

As I wait for the pain 

to subside.

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

As I count to three and you

say goodbye. 

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

Because I’m living a lie

and so I wake up every night. 

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

as my art becomes my catharsis

and all my faults aline. 

Life Is Not Easy

Life is not easy when

she cries at night and smiles

in the morning.

Life is not easy when

people fail her and yet

she still has to fight for them. 

Life is not easy when

the thought of her being content 

becomes a wild thought for others. 

Life is not easy when

her own people look down on her

because of all the things she loves. 

Life is not easy when

her will to live is dampened 

just by hurtful words. 

Life is not easy when

people tell her that she’s a burden and yet

they can’t live without her. 

I Try To Forget You, Anyway

I try and line myself on the edge of my bed 

to keep your thoughts at bay, but you

make an appearance in my dreams anyway. 

I try to pack up your thoughts in my jewelry box

but I want to wear my favorite earrings anyway, everyday. 

I try to convince myself that I love winter, but you are my sun

and it rose every morning anyway. I did everything I could

to forget you, but the outline of your lips resembled the petals

of the flowers that I held and kissed everyday. 

***

Some thoughts, you just can’t push them away. 

He Loved Her ‘Til There Was a Flower Left

In the first week, the plant was bountiful with flowers

The time he loved her sweet

The promises that they would keep.

The trust, they both would reap.

In the second week, down came 

the unforeseeable rain

Their fights, all in vain, as they ended their days 

In each others’ arms 

Under the shadow of the candle’s flame. 

In the third week, there was an unforgivable storm

More than half of the flowers were gone. They saw less

Of each other. Pieces of him in her and her in him

They remained. 

In the fourth week, the clouds started to calm, but 

Grey they still were. Only one flower perfectly poised, remained.

The one he had saved for her. 

*** Young love that is short and simple, yet passionate burns fast, my friends. But the scars always remain.***

Flowers Drenched in Rainwater

Flowers drenched in rainwater 

O, how heavy you must feel!

Thoughts cascading down the edges of my shoulders

Overwhelmed, by the burden, I kneel. 

I bend to pick up the flowers 

My mind- not wanting to be kind

It only wants to pick up the pretty ones

And leave the withering ones behind. 

My heart warns myself, not to be fool’d 

“Look down at your own hands” it says

Graceful and delicate, now they are

But failing the tests of time one day

your own skin will slowly wrinkle away.

Paper Flowers

Paper flowers in the wind

Gracefully at the might of my feet

Each petal bearing my sin, that would go unpunished 

For their beauty, I beseech for thee. 

Paper flowers amongst the pages

Hidden like valuable bookmarks

Endless pages with storytelling lines

All akin to my living lies. 

Paper flowers on the stems

Growing and falling at the same time

Counting every petal- one to ten

Collecting my thoughts, of your shrine.