life

Constant

It’s impossible to stay in one place when
Each cell in the heart of mine
Pumps blood for another
And
longs to drive on a different road
Every passing day
When thoughts start cascading
And my heart starts racing
Fresh blood filling up my heart
Hands pouring coffee
Overflowing cup
Steam rising up
Dissolving and mixing
What is not and what is there?
I long for a cage every day
That shall shield
The only vitality, keeping me
Alive
Against my will.

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Heaven Is Collapsing

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

As I wait for the pain 

to subside.

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

As I count to three and you

say goodbye. 

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

Because I’m living a lie

and so I wake up every night. 

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

as my art becomes my catharsis

and all my faults aline. 

Life Is Not Easy

Life is not easy when

she cries at night and smiles

in the morning.

Life is not easy when

people fail her and yet

she still has to fight for them. 

Life is not easy when

the thought of her being content 

becomes a wild thought for others. 

Life is not easy when

her own people look down on her

because of all the things she loves. 

Life is not easy when

her will to live is dampened 

just by hurtful words. 

Life is not easy when

people tell her that she’s a burden and yet

they can’t live without her. 

I Try To Forget You, Anyway

I try and line myself on the edge of my bed 

to keep your thoughts at bay, but you

make an appearance in my dreams anyway. 

I try to pack up your thoughts in my jewelry box

but I want to wear my favorite earrings anyway, everyday. 

I try to convince myself that I love winter, but you are my sun

and it rose every morning anyway. I did everything I could

to forget you, but the outline of your lips resembled the petals

of the flowers that I held and kissed everyday. 

***

Some thoughts, you just can’t push them away. 

He Loved Her ‘Til There Was a Flower Left

In the first week, the plant was bountiful with flowers

The time he loved her sweet

The promises that they would keep.

The trust, they both would reap.

In the second week, down came 

the unforeseeable rain

Their fights, all in vain, as they ended their days 

In each others’ arms 

Under the shadow of the candle’s flame. 

In the third week, there was an unforgivable storm

More than half of the flowers were gone. They saw less

Of each other. Pieces of him in her and her in him

They remained. 

In the fourth week, the clouds started to calm, but 

Grey they still were. Only one flower perfectly poised, remained.

The one he had saved for her. 

*** Young love that is short and simple, yet passionate burns fast, my friends. But the scars always remain.***

Paper Flowers

Paper flowers in the wind

Gracefully at the might of my feet

Each petal bearing my sin, that would go unpunished 

For their beauty, I beseech for thee. 

Paper flowers amongst the pages

Hidden like valuable bookmarks

Endless pages with storytelling lines

All akin to my living lies. 

Paper flowers on the stems

Growing and falling at the same time

Counting every petal- one to ten

Collecting my thoughts, of your shrine. 

Sanity

The minute hand passing by

Pages turning over

Nietzsche and then Karl Marx

Philosopher after philosopher

Trying to make sense of my vanished balance

Still squandering, dust within my fingers

Gracefully falling

On dissipating grounds beneath my feet

Serenity evaporated through that ground

Only to be vanquished by what was more

Powerful- my mind.

Answers, not even one held. As they watched,

Through the glass, all the passer-by’s, between

The books and pages, staring back. Right at me.

The Flower I Never Bloomed Into

You wanted me to be one of those flowers-

bursting with exuberance and

dripping bright colors.

Pink, red or maybe yellow?

The flower that was there in every bouquet,

the one always plucked first,

the one found in gardens of houses

with pretty facades.

But I grew into a flower-

quiet and unwashed.

Growing along with the creepers

on the desolate and dilapidated frontiers.

Observing from a shy distance,

the untrue faculties of the world.

My words in a masquerade of  silence and fear.

But you never seek to appreciate, respect or understand 

my beauty. 

But how unfair,

for beauty is bestowed in every soul

and so we are told

but rarely heed. 

The Dinner Table Tension

Silences

fill the gaps between the dust in the air

and the spaces between my

unrealized thoughts.

Glances exchanged across the table,

glances that stir emptiness with

vagueness.

Fragments of awkwardness stretching

time beyond normalcy;

silence that increases,

making every breath heavier

and desperate.

Loud and unmoving.

Each scared to disrupt

the mellow and melancholic charades.

Submerged beneath their faces

and compressed within

the wooden textures of the mahogany table.

Each scared to disrupt the silence, with

a clank of the silverware against the glass plate.

Fearing that unwanted words

would escape their mouths.