life

Heaven Is Collapsing

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

As I wait for the pain 

to subside.

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

As I count to three and you

say goodbye. 

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

Because I’m living a lie

and so I wake up every night. 

Heaven is collapsing in my mind

as my art becomes my catharsis

and all my faults aline. 

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Life Is Not Easy

Life is not easy when

she cries at night and smiles

in the morning.

Life is not easy when

people fail her and yet

she still has to fight for them. 

Life is not easy when

the thought of her being content 

becomes a wild thought for others. 

Life is not easy when

her own people look down on her

because of all the things she loves. 

Life is not easy when

her will to live is dampened 

just by hurtful words. 

Life is not easy when

people tell her that she’s a burden and yet

they can’t live without her. 

I Try To Forget You, Anyway

I try and line myself on the edge of my bed 

to keep your thoughts at bay, but you

make an appearance in my dreams anyway. 

I try to pack up your thoughts in my jewelry box

but I want to wear my favorite earrings anyway, everyday. 

I try to convince myself that I love winter, but you are my sun

and it rose every morning anyway. I did everything I could

to forget you, but the outline of your lips resembled the petals

of the flowers that I held and kissed everyday. 

***

Some thoughts, you just can’t push them away. 

He Loved Her ‘Til There Was a Flower Left

In the first week, the plant was bountiful with flowers

The time he loved her sweet

The promises that they would keep.

The trust, they both would reap.

In the second week, down came 

the unforeseeable rain

Their fights, all in vain, as they ended their days 

In each others’ arms 

Under the shadow of the candle’s flame. 

In the third week, there was an unforgivable storm

More than half of the flowers were gone. They saw less

Of each other. Pieces of him in her and her in him

They remained. 

In the fourth week, the clouds started to calm, but 

Grey they still were. Only one flower perfectly poised, remained.

The one he had saved for her. 

*** Young love that is short and simple, yet passionate burns fast, my friends. But the scars always remain.***

Paper Flowers

Paper flowers in the wind

Gracefully at the might of my feet

Each petal bearing my sin, that would go unpunished 

For their beauty, I beseech for thee. 

Paper flowers amongst the pages

Hidden like valuable bookmarks

Endless pages with storytelling lines

All akin to my living lies. 

Paper flowers on the stems

Growing and falling at the same time

Counting every petal- one to ten

Collecting my thoughts, of your shrine. 

Sanity

The minute hand passing by

Pages turning over

Nietzsche and then Karl Marx

Philosopher after philosopher

Trying to make sense of my vanished balance

Still squandering, dust within my fingers

Gracefully falling

On dissipating grounds beneath my feet

Serenity evaporated through that ground

Only to be vanquished by what was more

Powerful- my mind.

Answers, not even one held. As they watched,

Through the glass, all the passer-by’s, between

The books and pages, staring back. Right at me.

The Flower I Never Bloomed Into

You wanted me to be one of those flowers-

bursting with exuberance and

dripping bright colors.

Pink, red or maybe yellow?

The flower that was there in every bouquet,

the one always plucked first,

the one found in gardens of houses

with pretty facades.

But I grew into a flower-

quiet and unwashed.

Growing along with the creepers

on the desolate and dilapidated frontiers.

Observing from a shy distance,

the untrue faculties of the world.

My words in a masquerade of  silence and fear.

But you never seek to appreciate, respect or understand 

my beauty. 

But how unfair,

for beauty is bestowed in every soul

and so we are told

but rarely heed. 

The Dinner Table Tension

Silences

fill the gaps between the dust in the air

and the spaces between my

unrealized thoughts.

Glances exchanged across the table,

glances that stir emptiness with

vagueness.

Fragments of awkwardness stretching

time beyond normalcy;

silence that increases,

making every breath heavier

and desperate.

Loud and unmoving.

Each scared to disrupt

the mellow and melancholic charades.

Submerged beneath their faces

and compressed within

the wooden textures of the mahogany table.

Each scared to disrupt the silence, with

a clank of the silverware against the glass plate.

Fearing that unwanted words

would escape their mouths.

 

Falling For You: Admiring You From Afar

One moment of falling for you became infinite moments of my rebirth and admiring you from afar. Just noticing you from a distance made me value the little moments of existence that I was given. I cherished time and I cherished you in my time. More than the physical space that your body occupied, your presence and your energy could put back the dainty fallen petals of a flower together. But you are more than a passionate flower and fiercer than any rose. You are so many elements in yourself. You are charged like neon. You are like the stars, the sun, the water, the mountains and the fire all at the same time. Your beauty is boundless. It stretched and tugged at the deepest core of my heart. If we were two forbidden lovers, then you would bleed temptation and I would bleed desire. 

But for now, I’ve been the privilege to admire your beauty from afar, through gazes and brief stares. And I’m thankful, because you tug at the passion in me and me write poetry, make me appreciate life. 

***

Note: I thought of starting this little series called ‘Falling For You’. This series will include little paragraphs about falling for someone- the process, little moments of imagination, hope, excitement and everything else that lasts in the whole experience of it. I hope you enjoy this little series and are able to relate with it.

-Ree

Do you ever wonder?

Two hours have passed since I had my dinner and while I was eating I started thinking about the decisions I made in my life which impacted my present moments in some or the other way. The choices we make as humans in our lives are so crucial and we often do not realize it. It made me wonder how different our lives could have been if we would have done certain things in our past differently. Decisions specifically we regret making or possibly not making. Perhaps if we spoke a bit louder so that the other person could hear us under our breath. If we would have forgiven that person instead of jeopardizing our years of paramount relationship/friendship. If we confessed our love for that special someone. If we had quit that bad habit years back. If we had gone to that party. If we would have published our story. If we would have finished that last chapter which we never did. If we didn’t give up and kept striving for that one thing that we wanted to reach. If we would not have turned down that job interview just because the job was not interesting enough. If we would have ignored our anger and answered that phone call. If we would have started a conversation with that person sitting across in the dimly lit coffee shop. If we wouldn’t have walked out of that door that one evening. If we would have booked those affordable flight tickets and embarked on a life-changing journey. If we just would have woken up a bit early to see the sunrise with him/her.  If we would put our lives and our thoughts and feelings first instead of others or maybe if we would have understood life from their shoes before things fell apart like a deck of cards. A lot of things could be different now. They could be on a whole different level and maybe we wouldn’t be having long nights of regrets, unending repentance and “what ifs” after our unfulfilling dinners within our closed spaces.

So do you ever wonder how things could have been so unbelievably different?