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Falling For You: They asked me how I knew

People often ask me, how I knew that I was in love. Even though you never held my hand or caressed my neck nor whisper honeyed words into my ears.

I still knew.

I still knew that it was you.

I told them that it was the littlest things that would suffice. When you would walk into the room and you would smile at your friends and then look around to catch my eye and warmth would emanate through the dust particles between us, only to make everything more pure. The way the sound of your laugh was more than just a laugh and a sweet melody like Mozart to my ears. How your smile was my secret hiding place on days when I felt the weight of my own thoughts on my shoulders. How our little conversations were the music that put me to sleep and how they were the first remembrances in my mind at 7 AM when I woke. That’s when I contemplated as to why people phrase it “falling in love” because you were a manifestation that I rose to every single day. But that part comes later, because only if I knew. Only if I had payed enough attention to the red traffic signal instead of getting consumed in the joys of the green one. If only I would have shut the windows a bit tighter to prevent the rain from seeping through, onto my wooden floors, turning them a darker shade. If only I would have blown out the candle a bit earlier.

If only.

But those few moments with you were bountiful and full of life- endless exuberant sunlit days of a young girl, of a one-sided kind of love. The rush of adrenaline by just thinking of you. The unforced and natural smile on my face and the irregular thudding of my heart against my cage. If it wasn’t for all these, then would true love be? I used to think that maybe one day, I would wake up and see your face next to mine, how your caramel hair tousled callously around your temples. How I would know how you like your coffee on Sunday mornings and how we would bicker about the most foolish things, only to come apologizing on each other’s doors in the evening. Ever wondered if “maybes” just remain “maybes” or turn out to be “never”?

I was unsure as to what possibly went wrong. What shift had taken place in the cosmos, where was the faultline under my earth, that I had to reassemble myself from the doom of unrequited love. And that’s when I realized why they call it “falling in love”. It’s a sudden dive into the depths of the oceans where nothing but your feelings and affection matter. Everything else becomes unimportant and secondary. You lose grasp of your own belongings and your own-self whilst in search of the rare pearl.

And how foolish was I and still am to let those memories of you make my bones warm on a winter’s day.  

***

So how did you know?

Songs Which Speak to Me

Growing up, music has always been more than a hobby to me. It has been an undying passion. I know that sounds highly dramatic, but that’s what it has always been. Music always made everything so much easier for me. Whether I was studying for a test or I was cleaning my room or even when I go to the shower. Music has always been a necessity. It has been like water to me. I cannot fall asleep at night without listening to the radio or some songs. And, when you start relating to a particular song in a particular moment, then music tends to become more than just a tune with some words.

That is how I feel when I listen to some songs. There are some songs which speak to me on different levels. When a song becomes more than just a song and it becomes strangely easy to relate to. When the lyrics become words running in your mind that you cannot speak out loud and when the tune becomes the rhythm of your breath. And I wanted to share some of them with you all, so here we go:

  1. HumanOf Monsters and Men
  2. Colors Halsey
  3. I wanna be yours Arctic Monkeys
  4. Misguided Ghosts Paramore
  5. Slow life Of Monsters and Men
  6. Blood Bank Bon Iver
  7. Music To Watch Boys To Lana Del Rey
  8. Gold Chet Faker
  9. Ain’t It Fun Paramore
  10. Car Radio Twenty One Pilots

Just in case, most of the songs mentioned are along the genres of indie and alternative so if you have the same music taste as me, then it will be even better! I hope you like the songs as much as I do.

What are some of the songs which speak to you? 🙂

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Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset