It’s impossible to stay in one place when
Each cell in the heart of mine
Pumps blood for another
longs to drive on a different road
Every passing day
When thoughts start cascading
And my heart starts racing
Fresh blood filling up my heart
Hands pouring coffee
Steam rising up
Dissolving and mixing
What is not and what is there?
I long for a cage every day
That shall shield
The only vitality, keeping me
Against my will.
For the first time I gazed into your eyes for a brief moment, all my fears of what remained in the dark depths disappeared. Your eyes reminded me of hot coffee grains in white milk. And when I glanced at you, your eyes would calm the tempest and when you would look at me and our eyes would lock into each others for a short while, all my secrets would become are.
I would dive into depths of the unknown, just trusting you by looking into you, because as you smiled and the corners of your eyes would crinkle and form lines and your pupils would sparkle like stars clustered into a circle, I knew that there was no other place more heavenly for me to be.
One moment of falling for you became infinite moments of my rebirth and admiring you from afar. Just noticing you from a distance made me value the little moments of existence that I was given. I cherished time and I cherished you in my time. More than the physical space that your body occupied, your presence and your energy could put back the dainty fallen petals of a flower together. But you are more than a passionate flower and fiercer than any rose. You are so many elements in yourself. You are charged like neon. You are like the stars, the sun, the water, the mountains and the fire all at the same time. Your beauty is boundless. It stretched and tugged at the deepest core of my heart. If we were two forbidden lovers, then you would bleed temptation and I would bleed desire.
But for now, I’ve been the privilege to admire your beauty from afar, through gazes and brief stares. And I’m thankful, because you tug at the passion in me and me write poetry, make me appreciate life.
Note: I thought of starting this little series called ‘Falling For You’. This series will include little paragraphs about falling for someone- the process, little moments of imagination, hope, excitement and everything else that lasts in the whole experience of it. I hope you enjoy this little series and are able to relate with it.
But I only ended up feeling more hollow and exhausted.
Thoughts: Over the past few days I became really restless and I tried to stay occupied and try to reminisce, tried to remember the good times that I had, all stored in my memories and I tried to mingle with people and go out and escape into the facade of the cities and nature but in the end of the day all of the content that I felt was short-lived. No matter how hard I tried, I was never “happy enough”. After a lot of thinking and not thinking at the same time, I realized that happiness and comfort doesn’t come with packages or with some other person in your life, it doesn’t come with pleasing price tags or expensive meals at nice places. Maybe they do, but they don’t last long. Real happiness lies within you and you have the power to unlock that if you really want to. So stop looking at others and stop depending on things that you can hold on to for a short period. Their values don’t last forever.